COMMUNICATION is essential for good relationships. And speaking the same language may not be enough. For instance, some people express love mainly through their words, others offer practical help and care, others show affection physically. If partners’ way of showing love is mismatched, they may have problems “getting through” to each other, sabotaging their relationships.
ANGER often prevents clear communication. Any strong emotion swamps the mind’s ability to think clearly. This makes it impossible to understand anything beyond the simplest ideas and expressions. Angry people have poor relationships because do not listen. Instead they interpret what they hear based on their own assumptions about the other person.
MEMORY is very fluid and easily distorted. When we’re angry, we can easily remember other situations when we were angry, while forgetting times when we felt different- even if those times happen much more often.
SOLUTION-FOCUSED BRIEF THERAPY , which is a combination of hypnotherapy and counselling offer a combined approach to these problems. Hypnosis helps you to control your emotional reactions, and thus be able to think clearly and improve communication. One partner’s words or actions may remind the other partner of some previous situation with another person. Solution-focused counselling can help you understand these issues. Hypnotherapy can be of great help for anger management, so long as the person realises that anger is their problem and not just someone else’s fault. Of course, results will vary from person to person as with any therapy. In my experience the difference between success and failure is mostly down to the client’s level of motivation, which is why no therapist or doctor can ever guarantee success.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT THERAPY FOR RELATIONSHIPS. Although Solution-Focused Brief Therapy is an effective means of enhancing relationships, there are certain things it CANNOT do. Some people approach me, looking for a “quick fix” for their relationship, expecting me to hypnotise their partner to “make them” behave differently. I refuse these requests, because therapy is not a means of manipulating one partner for the other’s convenience.
See also “Hypnosis and Sexuality”.